


Ten Times

by Enamourous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Suicide, Weecest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 14:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enamourous/pseuds/Enamourous





	Ten Times

The first time those boys visited Elle’s Diner, one couldn’t even talk yet.

The family looked nice together, one of the waitresses thought to herself when she saw them walk in. The mother was beautiful, with blonde hair and a compassionate smile. Her husband had dark eyes that lit up when he looked at her. They had two young boys with them; one of them could only have been a few months old. The older of the two was holding the younger one in his arms. When the waitress smiled at them the boy boldly flashed her a toothy grin.

The father bent down to his sons’ level.  “ _Hey Dean, you want me to hold Sammy for a while?”_

Dean shook his head. “ _No_ _it’s okay Dad, I got him.”_

***

The second time they came in it was just the boys and their father.

Something had changed in the father’s face; he looked almost like a different man. The waitress remembered him as being happy. You get to be pretty good at knowing what kind of person someone is by looking at them, when you see so many faces each day. And this man had changed. The two years that had passed since she’d seen them last must have been pretty rough ones.  In fact, that’s why she remembered the family at all. She remembered looking at them and wanting that for herself. Someday she might start a family of her own after all, and she wouldn’t mind if it looked like this one had that first time she saw them.  She wondered where the mother was though and hoped that she didn’t have anything to do with the tiredness that was in the man’s eyes.

The waitress noticed the littlest boy was walking now, but seemed pretty shy. He kept close to his brother. The waitress noticed they were mostly silent as they ate.

***

The third time the boys visited the diner with their father no one gave them a second thought.

The waitress wasn’t there to see how Dean and his brother had grown because she quit a few years back. That time around no one in the diner looked at the Winchester family for long. No one noticed that John looked even emptier than the last time he was there. No one noticed that they were talking about a demon in hushed tones, talking about how to find it and kill it. 

***

The fourth time John wasn’t there.

The boys ate alone at a table in the far corner. A couple people noticed the bruise purpling the side of Dean’s face and assumed the kid had gotten himself into a street fight. He had the look—oversized leather jacket, cocky swagger, stubborn eyes. No one but Sam knew why the bruise was really there. He talked with Dean about it quietly while they ate.

“I can’t believe he hit you,” He said, disgust in his voice. “I knew he’d be mad when he found out, but I can’t believe he hit you. He should have hit me instead. I was the one with my mouth around your dick”.

Dean laughed humorlessly. “You should be happy it wasn’t worse,” He grimaced when he thought about it. “It could have been so much worse.”

 They were silent for a while then, Dean content to eat his burger and ignore Sam’s stony glaring out the window. Eventually Sam spoke. “We’re not listening to him Dean. I don’t care if he knows now, It’s not like I’m just gonna stay away from you because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t fucking understand.”

Dean looked at his younger brother and thought that he really didn’t either. “I know Sammy, I know.”

***

Five years later Sam and Dean are there again, breezing through town and happy to eat somewhere familiar to them.

They don’t know how to act, they haven’t seen each other much since Sam left for school and they’re still getting used to each other’s company again, getting used to hunting together after all the time apart. Things aren’t too different though, Dean thinks. With the ache that spreads through his chest each time he looks at Sam for too long, Dean knows things haven’t changed at all.

***

The sixth time Dean and Sam are happy and Dean swears he’s never had a burger this good.

“Dean you’ve said that at at least four different diners in the past what, month or two?” Sam says shaking his head and grinning.

“What can I say, I’m easy to please.” Dean responds with a suggestive quirk of his eyebrow that fills Sam’s mind with memories of the night before. He kicks Dean under the table.

“Don’t compare me to a fucking burger you disgusting asshole.”

***

The seventh time Sam and Dean are different people than they used to be.  

In the time that passed after their last visit, they’d found their mother’s murderer, they’d killed innocent people, and they’d watched each other die. Along the way they lost a little of who they were when they were kids. But still, some things remained the same. They still found comfort in each other’s touch, they still fought to save the world each day at a time, and when either of them found they couldn’t be strong the other was still there to put them together again.

***

The eighth time Dean and Sam eat at Elle’s Diner, the devil comes along.

Sam can barely hear his brother over the voice in his head. While they eat Dean wonders when Sam started slipping away. He wonders why this time, he can’t seem to bring him back.

***

The ninth time Sam talks about a girl named Amelia and how he thinks he loves her. The ninth time, Dean thinks his heart is breaking.

***

The tenth time Dean eats alone.

He pretends Sam’s sitting across from him, complaining about his eating habits or giving him the lowdown on the research behind their next hunt. But in the end his coffee is too bitter and the place is too quiet and he just can’t do it. There’s no pretending Sam isn’t gone.

He wishes he could have had the chance to sit across from Sam just one more time, maybe say the things he never could. Maybe he’d say the things he never realized he wouldn’t have more chances to say. But it’s too late now, and Dean eats alone, feeling empty. So fucking empty.

If anyone would have been there all those times to notice, they would have said Dean looked just like John towards the end.

Before Dean leaves, he looks back at the booth were he and his brother had sat throughout their lives, and says goodbye. Because this time, it’s the last time.

Where he’s going, he isn’t coming back.

 


End file.
